The Glamwire Pome

SPRING HAS SPRUNG …a silly little pome by BEKi “PINa COLADa” THOMAs who has just returned to NYC from sunny Melbourne….where Bob literally is her uncle.

Spring has sprung the time has come
to put our cloaks away
there’s no such thing as happy hour
it’s happy days and days
goodbye to New York Eskimos
walking backwards up the street
time for hipsters and ghettto blasters
dancin’ to the beat
flip flops or thongs?
who cares what you call em’
dig em’ out of the closet
the weather is warmin!!
fire up the rooftop
with views of Manhattan
there’s beer in the fridge
shrimps on the barbie are cracklin’ (mate)
astro turf and banana lounges
y’know how it goes
we’ve even got those pink plastic flamingos
The new summer soundtrack’s the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Yep. Yes it is, Yeah Yeah Yeah
What kinda person are you
and what would you rather?
cough medicine in bed
or a PINA COLADA !!!??

The Gaye Watkins Report

Tom and Dee Hilfiger. Photo: Tyler Weggel/GLAMWIRE

Gaye attends more galas than any gal we know. Here is her most recent report from The Dress For Success Gala. Dress for Success helps women get back into the workforce through counselling and, most definitely, smashing threads.

Dress for Success had its worldwide gala in New York where Tommy Hilfiger wore the tie he designed specifically to raise money for the organization. Dress for Success has been going strong for 12 years. It helps women internationally get back into the workforce by providing them with clothes to help them nail a job interview and help them emotionally prepare for a job. Most of these women have backgrounds that were filled with hard times. Some with drug abuse, or prison time.

The founder of Dress for Success Pat Nathan, simply wanted to make a difference by using the $5000 she inherited from her grandfather and help other people. She has since stepped down from the company and has opted for a simpler life. I remember briefly meeting the founder when I was part of a video crew interviewing her about her new non profit business in its first year. She began Dress for Success in the basement of a church in Greenwich Village and through other organizations’ referrals would welcome women to come and choose business suits and shoes that would help them land a job. For some women it was the very first time they had ever prepared for a job interview or owned a suit. Just picking out a business outfit and new pair of heels could at times be filled with tears of joy. Now it has continuing support from the fashion industry and big businesses.

Attendee Bobbi Brown of Bobbi Brown cosmetics, proudly proclaims that she is on the board of directors and that it is the only board she wants to be on. Iman, former model and founder of Iman cosmetics, is also a supporter and has met and been touched by some of the groups recipients. Joi Gordon CEO of Dress For Success added the personal touch at the gala by visiting various tables and thanking us all for coming. Some people honored were, the mother of Lance Armstrong, Linda Armstrong Kelly, Debra Phelps mother of Michael Phelps and Eileen Brumback Sr. Vice President at GE. A dance performance by Ailey ll was the perfect end to an inspiring evening.

The BAM Hour: Barry on Passover and Easter

This week the President discusses the multitude of problems and opportunities before the world through the prism of Passover and Easter: “These are two very different holidays with their own very different traditions. But it seems fitting that we mark them both during the same week. For in a larger sense, they are both moments […]

Surpirse! You May Already Own the Worlds Most Advanced Vibrator

Introducing: “iMoan”….From Michelle Mag’s Adraine Stewart:

This morning, DailyCandy leaked news of Jimmyjane’s soon to be released iPhone application. The “app” was erroneously identified as “MiVibe”, but will in fact be released under the name iMoan™.

As reported by the omniscient fashion newsletter, the application transforms your phone into the most technologically advanced sex accessory ever created. Since the cat’s out of the bag, we thought we’d give you a preview of the latest Jimmyjane design to empower you to Live Sexy –

iMoan Lite™ will be free, and features 3 vibration speeds with 10 preset vibration modes, including Mix, Stir, Blend, Whip, Grind, Frappe, Puree, Liquefy, Text and Tweet.

iMoan Basic™ will be available for $2.99, and features emulations of all of your favorite Jimmyjane vibrators, including the silent thrum of the LITTLE SOMETHING and the dual motor thrills of FORM 6

.

iMoan Pro™ can be yours for a mere $4.99, and features advanced integration of 3G technology, including –

Patented Shake-To-Vibe™ User Interface
Dial-An-X™ Booty Call Randomizer (BCR)
Googdar™ Seamless Integration of Google Maps + Craigslist Causal Encounters
JetSettr™ Skype Video Enabled International Fling Support
Now That I See You Naked, You Look Kind of Familiar™ Realtime Facebook Synchronization

In the words of Gizmodo beta testers, “iMoan™ is off the hook.”

A ribbed 24K gold case and other accessories to enhance your iPhone love affair will be sold separately through Jimmyjane.com and select retail partners.Contact us at Ask Jimmyjane for details on this and other April Fools nonsense.