MARCH 7- 2008, Hillary Clinton’s most aggressive Pant Suit, the flaming red one she wore after winning Ohio, is on the offensive yet again, claiming that Barack Obama’s attacks on it are “Kenneth Star” like. “Hey…all I’m saying is this guy doesn’t look good in red, okay? I’m not asking him for his Tax Returns,” the wool/cashmere Pant Suit declared angrilly at a press conference here today, flanked by two biege “Kors By Michael Kors” Leisure Suits and a small army of Secret Service Menswear and Acccesories.

Peter Axelrod, Obama’s chief strategist shot back,

“Barack looks amazing in red…he’s been wearing red since the seventies…claiming he does not look good in red is attacking the public’s perception of his ability to run this country, so all bets are off…I want to hear Hillary sing ‘Inna Gotta Davida’ by Iron Maiden. And I want to hear that NOW.” Hillary is said to be in Washington rehersing with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne and special guests Dicky Betts and Greg Allman (in itself, analysts note, an important reunion probably aimed at capturing Southern States that have gone solidly Republican since 2000). Insiders expect an 11 hour version of “Inna Gotta Davida” to be performed at an undisclosed location before the primary here in late April.

–Miles Redfield, Reporting, Chambersburg, PA

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